On Women’s’ Day 2017

In all honesty…[1]

My first thought, at this very moment, typing on this d@#n computer is, “why the hell does women’s’ day, plural, possessive, require 2 apostrophes per MSWord’s grammar police?”

Hmm… what is an ‘apostrophe’ anyway?

Merriam-Webster?

Main Entry: 1apos’tro’phe
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin, from Greek apostroph‡, literally, act of turning away, from apostrephein to turn away, from apo- + strephein to turn
Date: 1533

: the addressing of a usually absent person or a usually personified thing rhetorically <Carlyle’s »O Liberty, what things are done in thy name!” is an example of apostrophe>  — apyosytrophyic   \’a-p’-‘strä-fik\ adjective

OHHhhh!

An absent person!

I get it…

Like women.

Absent, but necessary people, from the conversation.

So we’re here, and we can have something, like a “day”, but then you require another apostrophe which negates the first one…

I GET IT!

NO SERIOUSLY!

It’s like the server woman who brings you your drinks at the bar…

The Nice, good people men will smile, thank the server woman for their service… and maybe leave them a fat tip if they liked them…

The Bad people men will grab the server‘s woman’s ass, blame them for grabbing it… and leave them a fat tip for recompense.

Of course, by recompense, I mean… payment… so… if the server woman complains later… well, why they hell would anyone complain after getting a fifty-dollar tip? Hmmm?

So… the double apostrophe required by the grammar police is a double negative? Meant to negate the importance of our presence in society?


Oh yeah…

WOMANS DAY.

EVERY DAY.

But only if you are talking about responsibility…

I mean, just like good ol’ 45 said, “Don’t forget your duties…”

*mtfr… sister BROTHER!…urgh!*[2] (Really… really want to hit something now…*steam*)


SERIOUSLY THOUGH…

I had a brief discussion with my husband about this topic… and I expressed my disdain of the ‘holiday’ of woman… and how… well, it wasn’t as MONUMENTAL as it could have been.

I mean…

CAN YOU IMAGINE? WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE, IF LITERALLY EVERY WOMAN STAYED HOME TO EAT BON-BONS AND WATCH SOAP OPERAS? (Or… in my case, CSPAN?)

OH MY GOD. IT WOULD BE SOOOO…. EPIC!!!

AND… It would never happen…

Our work ethic is  (or, well, competitive natures are) TOO strong…

We always, always, do the right thing… take a hit ‘for the team’.

Just like Lady Liberty… I mean, the closest she could manage was a few hours without the spotlights on her at night-time… and even then… it was back on before midnight…

Protest?

No…

More of a failed attempt for a good night’s sleep.


What if there was an INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY?

Isn’t that every day? But, what if it was a protest day?

Men, on the other hand… well, if there were an INTERNATIONAL MENS’ DAY (notice, they only get 1 apostrophe!)…

Well, an International Men’s Day… would be well attended.

All men… And I mean ALL of them… would stay home, drink beer, and watch TV or play video games.

They would even organize parties and get-togethers… for which the women would be obligated to provide snacks for their guests.

The good news?

Well, at least women’s’ SPORTS would get fair air-time.


Awww… I’m sorry, do I sound snide, selfish, and unforgiving?


Valid observations there… and I’m not sorry… well, I’m sorry if you’re offended… but that’s as far as it goes…


Meanwhile… life would go on… ON INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY with less damage control.

If only we could trust the childcare to them.

*sigh*


ANYWAY… I am obligated to say…

I am proud to be a woman… on such an auspicious day…

…oh wait… it’s now midnight… the DAY AFTER women’s day!

Geez… Thank God.

More of the same I ‘spose…

Later guys and gals.[3]


[1] This rant is completely and utterly random, and not what I started out to say… I began with a very articulate and well-thought-out argument for women’s place in society… but now, well, this is what happened… AND it was more fun. Please don’t take ANY of it seriously… but do… ENJOY! 🙂

(We all know that other stuff anyways, right?)

(Besides… America’s ‘choice’ for president says ALL WE NEED TO SAY about our core values regarding women’s’ perceived equality in society, right?…. *ahem*)

[2] This is NOT mine, by the way… Steve Carrell immortalized this phrase in that NOAH rehash back in the aught 2000’s. (Still! See… even the YEAR only gets ONE apostrophe! WTF?)

[3] I’m also obligated to say to ANYONE taking the responsibility of childcare of your own children seriously, female OR male… it is a duty beyond all others… never be ashamed of it, or apologize for the time you spent. I learned far more about human nature, time management, crisis aversion, and conflict resolution, from raising 2 children to elementary and preschool age, over a six year span, than I ever learned being a manager in half that time. AND I STILL CAN’T PUT IT ON A RESUME? Geez… progress? Whatever.